Divorce and MS
For those of you who are divorced or currently going through a divorce, was MS a factor in the dissatisfaction of your marriage? In my case, the answer is a rebounding YES! My divorce was final in 2010. It was a ridiculously long, horrific experience which led to financial difficulties, PTSD, and more. Does “in sickness and in health” fall by the wayside when an incurable, chronic illness enters a marriage? Sadly, it sometimes does. I hope you’ll share your own experiences/stories on this topic if you’re open to doing so.
Oh YES!!! Funny thing is that my (now)ex-husband was diagnosed with MS and shortly thereafter our marriage started to fall apart. He was "not nice" and stated that he wanted me to leave. He was involved with a member of our local MS support group-now they are married. Long story. Yes, she has MS. BUT - Here's the kicker! I was diagnosed with RRMS less than five years ago. Go figure! And I would have stayed til death did us part if it were solely up to me. Now I am alone, not where I thought I'd be at my age, struggling to survive (been homeless on and off since divorce) and he has no obligation for any spousal support even though I was a SAHM (which he wanted) and he pulled in a very decent income. Ugh, sorry, just hurts after 20+ years of marriage.
My goodness. I can only imagine what it was like for you going through that entire process and still having to cope and manage after devoting 20+ years to someone. To think that you have found your forever person to do life with, and then one day it just all changes is a feeling that only someone who has gone through could understand. As someone who has been divorced now for about 7 years, I can say that I completely understand how something like this can have such a long lasting affect on someone, especially on the one who would have stayed and honored their vows no matter what. My heart goes out to you for enduring such a hardship. How have you navigated the emotional and logistical challenges of the divorce while managing MS? I hope things have gotten better for you and that you heal beyond the hurt. You deserve an unconditional love that will stand the test of time, no matter what struggles may come. Wishing you the best on your journey. -Latoya (Team Member)
I was not yet diagnosed so all symptoms were written off as a side effect of the stress. Thankfully, I met someone who was able to support me and kick my arse when necessary. She's still my friend today, albeit long-distance, and we still support each other during trying times. But, we have had a bunch of good times too! With perseverance I have tried different counselors and methods to deal with the stress and losing my "old identity" of SAHM/Wife. I am now a Grandmother and Dog Pawrent of my SD. Every day is filled with good and bad. I just have to focus more on the good. It's a Work In Progress (WIP). There have been so very many trials that I have faced in the past 15+ years, I am learning how to continue to let bad ones go one at a time. Sometimes, if possible, I "pack it in a box and put it into the attic" so it's no longer in the forefront. Hope your journey continues as a smooth road with little bumps (just to keep it interesting).
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Thank you for taking the time to share your story.
I'm saddened to hear what you've gone through.
Clearly your resilience and wonderful perspective are helping you persevere.
Sending tons of positive vibes your way, Doreen (Team Member)
You already know my story, Mary 😉
Eleven years ago, my second husband divorced me after 2 years of marriage because I was disabled. But he actually did me a favor! I landed on my feet, fell into a late-in-life career as an MS patient advocate and health writer, and became very capable and independent like never before. And the icing?
Three months ago I reunited with my first husband, who was always the love of my life! Thirty years after our divorce, we are finally on the same page. He is supportive and loving, and this time, it is death do us part.
Now my life is complete. At 66-and-a-half, I finally have it all 😀
